Letting Go of Cherished Relationships

Divorce means the loss of a spousal relationship but for many it means also letting go of cherished relationships that the marriage had brought into their lives. The once great relationship that you had with your in-laws while married becomes strained - either because your in-laws find it difficult to continue the same relationship for fear that their own child may feel betrayed, or your spouse forbids you to continue the relationship. The old adage that "blood is thicker than water" often proves itself to be true in these situations.

If you are lucky, when the wounds heal, you will at least be able to maintain somewhat of a connection with the ex in-laws. It takes very mature adults to recognize that you are the parent of their grandchildren, nieces or nephews and to acknowledge that you are doing a great job taking care of these children. If that maturity does not become evident, be grateful for the relationship that existed beforehand and gently let it go.

At the same time, recognize that these individuals are relatives of your children and that your children deserve to have a relationship with them (unless of course there are safety reasons not to).